Happy Mother’s day to all you hard working mom’s! Whether you are a devoted stay-at-home mom, or are already a career mom, there is so much that we have to deal with. We worry about our children’s well-being, their education, their upbringing, their safety and among all of those things, we worry about the direct role we play in their success. As a mom of two boys and two teenage step-daughters, I also worry about my kids like you do. One thing that I have personally experienced among all the things I feel guilty about, is the element of blame that I put on myself for any failure my children experience. After all it is easy to blame Mom.
As a hard working mom, who also loves to do research, I remember reading somewhere that children with working moms experience some great wins as well. Economically, that must surely be true. But before I start, I want to preface that I do not write this article for the purpose of knocking down stay-at-home mom’s, but rather to ease your guilt, if like me, you worry about the impact your career goals have on your kids. Especially if you are considering leaving your stay-at-home mom role, for the career mom role.
Haslam, Patrick and Kirby (2015) found three positive correlations for working mom’s. First, mom’s found that being in the workforce allowed for their personal growth through adult interaction. Second, career-minded women in the workforce learn to value the time they have with their children and their focus shifts from quantity to quality. How often are you home, and your kids are completely ignoring you? Imagine having the mind set that when you are home, you get to mutually enjoy your family? The third benefit to being a working mom depends on whether you are working a job versus a career. If you are only working to make ends meet, then the likelihood of you having an unfilled life away from your children greatly increases (Haslam, Patrick, & Kirby, 2015; Guendouzi, 2006). Women who are on a career-based path, have a greater sense of satisfaction in the workplace (Haslam, Patrick, & Kirby, 2015).
Haslam, Patrick and Kirby (2015) stated that working mothers need help with strategies to manage guilt and need to build on career strengths. Strategies that help moms minimize guilt and increase their satisfaction, involves setting healthy boundaries for your work-life versus your family-life by seeking our a workplace that has family friendly policies. For example, moms often site technology as a contributor to their family over work guilt. Moms increasingly struggle with turning off their work related devices and focusing on their families. The idea that we need to be accessible to an employer 24/7 can be hard to overcome (Haslam, Patrick, & Kirby, 2015).
My advice is to start your search for an employer who has family-friendly policies (like turning your work phone off after work hours). Below are two great list of employers who rank high on the working mom charts! If you are ready to get back to work, I can help you build your arsenal of strategies so you can not only survive, but thrive!
Something good is about to happen!
2018 Working Mother 100 Best Companies: https://www.workingmother.com/working-mother-100-best-companies-winners-2018
USA Best Workplaces for Working Parents 2018: https://www.greatplacetowork.com/best-workplaces/parents/2018
Guendouzi, J. (2006). The Guilt Thing: Balancing Domestic and Professional Roles. Journal of Marriage & Family, 68(4), 901–909. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2006.00303.x
Haslam D., Patrick P., Kirby J, (2015). Giving Voice to Working Mothers: A Consumer Informed Study to Program Design for Working Mothers. Journal of Child & Family Studies, 24(8), 2463–2473. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-014-0049-7